Becoming a Dad

Hey there, buddy! So, let's talk about becoming a dad, shall we? It's a game-changer, no doubt about it. Suddenly, your whole adult life takes a wild turn. Now, here's the thing: most of us aren't exactly experts when we jump into fatherhood. It's like going on this crazy adventure that stretches us in all sorts of unexpected ways. We're trying to juggle the demands of our partners, kids, and jobs, and it can get pretty complex.

But here's the kicker: sometimes, our own experiences and needs get overlooked. Those friendships we relied on before? Yeah, they can start feeling distant or even out of reach. And the emotional support we used to get from our partners? Well, that can go out the window when there's a baby in the picture. It's like we're left feeling all alone right when we need the most help. Tough, huh?

But fear not! We've got your back. With a little courage and some good support, we can totally tackle these challenges head-on. That's where this group comes in. We're here to help you navigate the early stages of fatherhood. You'll get support from both your fellow dads and an expert who knows his stuff. Together we can grow into mature fathers and leaders. How cool is that?

So, if you're ready to step up your dad game and face those challenges with a little help from your friends, join our group. We've got your back, my friend. Let's do this!

If you’re interested in joining this group, fill out this form and we’ll be in touch soon: https://forms.gle/DsssnfbDve84ZZ1v9

When

The group will meet weekly from September 13-November 8, 2023 on Wednesdays from 6:30-8 p.m. There is no group meeting on October 4.

Cost

The cost for attending this 8-session group is $520.

Who Can Join?

The group will include 5 to 8 men and the leader. It is open to all men who are becoming fathers. You’re welcome if: you are trying to decide whether or not you want kids, you’re in the process of trying to have a child, your partner is pregnant, and even if you have a child in the early years of life.

Group members should have a willingness to examine their interpersonal behaviors, share parts of their private lives, and give and receive supportive feedback from a small supportive group.

How to Join?

If you're interested in joining this group, please complete this form >>

Outline

Week 1 - Becoming a Dad

All of us enter fatherhood carrying a set of assumptions, hopes, and expectations. Some of us enter fatherhood begrudgingly, fearing the loss of our independence. Others of us want to correct the ways our own fathers raised us for the sake of our children. And others of us feel excited about building our own family.

Whatever your hopes and expectations, we’ll spend this session discussing what it means for each of us to become a father.

Week 2 - A Changing Partnership

Before having a child, men often fear the loss of their relationships, the loss of attention from their partners, and often the potential loss of sex. After having a child, the disorientation makes it hard to even make sense of these questions.

This week we talk about our fears and hopes around how our marriages/partnerships will change after the birth of a child and the reality of how they are changing.

Week 3 - Friendship and Isolation

It’s often not just that life is busier after having a child, but old friends have moved away, responsibilities at work have increased, and in our free time we often want to sleep or just be alone in our man caves. While it seems women quickly group up into moms’ groups and yoga classes, men often find themselves increasingly isolated at the exact moment when deeper friendships matter the most.

This week we’ll talk about isolation in fatherhood and the importance of sustaining meaningful friendships with other men.

Week 4 - Changes in Health and Body and Caring for Yourself

The birth of a first child often occurs at the same time as other bodily changes for men. We can begin to develop a “dad bod.” Changes in metabolism mean lower energy levels and weight gain. We can be more fatigued and don’t feel as attractive as we once were. Sexual desire and function also change as we age.

This week we’ll talk about ways that each of us finds to care for ourselves amidst the challenges of fatherhood.

Week 5 - Parenting Style and the Role of the Father

Parenting styles vary widely between cultures and family backgrounds. Traditional stereotypes often have mothers nurturing and protecting their children, while fathers help kids leave the nest and become independent.

What is your parenting style, why do you have it, and what does that mean for you, your partner, and your kids?

Week 6 - Responsibility, Self-Sacrifice, Frustration Tolerance, and How to Get Your Own Needs Met

Taking on the responsibility of becoming a parent involves a tremendous amount of self-sacrifice. This sacrifice is not simply not getting enough sleep or not having enough time to yourself, it is a willingness to let go of what you want and need, to tolerate frustration for the sake of others in your life, particularly your children. And different from other sacrifices, it just doesn’t seem to end.

This week, we’ll focus on how to get your own needs met and how to manage things when others' needs are more important than your own.

Week 7 - Your Family in the Center: Managing Family Boundaries and In-laws

This week focuses on boundaries. While you undoubtedly have already had conflicts with your in-laws (or your partner has, with your parents), the birth of a child creates a new necessity for rethinking boundaries. One developmental task of a new family is how to establish a membrane around you and your family that is permeable to some relatives but not others.

Week 8 - Being a father

This is our last session. We will reflect together on the topics covered during the last 7 weeks and what remains to be explored.